Air Conditioner

In 1994, I was going through a separation/divorce, lost my home and had no place to live. I rented a room/bathroom in a hunting lodge where these conversations with Jesus took place. I realized months later that I had lived there for 40 days before finding a place to rent. There were two floors, but I was the only person renting since hunting season hadn’t begun.

After I’d been there a couple of weeks, one afternoon I heard a car door slamming outside. I heard voices, and then footsteps climbing up the steps to the room directly above me. I didn’t think a thing of it until that night when, about 10 o’clock, noises began that made me know sex was taking place. Because of my deep woundedness from betrayal in that area, hearing this was torturous to me.

I jumped up, flung open the door to run away until it was over. It was pitch dark outside, and, realizing I had no car to run off in, no money, no one to call, I reluctantly shut the door and came back inside. I wiggled into the space next to the door, a skinny space that was in between the wall and the stove. I could hear the noise, so I stuck my fingers into my ears and began to make all kinds of sounds and musical notes very LOUDLY. As I did this, inwardly I “cried out” to Jesus at the top of my lungs, “HELP!!” The word was more like HHHEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every once in a while I would take my fingers out of my ears and listen, hoping beyond words that it was over. This happened for many minutes, but the noise continued, and I was beginning to hurt from standing so long. (Ever since the car accident, standing any length of time is painful for me). So, reluctantly, I went over and plopped myself down on my bed, v.e.r.y. u.p.s.e.t. Now begins what I wrote down of Jesus’ and my conversation about it all.

Me: “Jesus, there are no accidents so WHY am I being subjected to this? WHY????”

Jesus knows my thoughts and they must have been doozies because this is what He said…

Jesus: “I AM not a pervert! I know it hurts, but you needed to hear it.”

Me: “But WHY??”

Jesus: “I heard your cry in Heaven, by the way. It echoed and echoed and bounced all around. I heard and I AM answering, now… Because you can’t let yourself become bitter over anything, and especially not someone else’s happiness. You can’t! Why should the whole world hurt all the time? You don’t like hurting, do you?”

Me: “No!”

Jesus: “Then be happy when others are happy; be sad when they are sad.”

Me: “It brings back too many memories, both good AND bad. And too many painful reminders.”

Jesus: “But they are just that, ChloeGrace, memories. They can’t hurt you. You haven’t ceased being human. I know. Please believe Me. I don’t mean to cause you any more sorrow or pain. One day all this will seem like a dream and even a nightmare.”

Me: “When will I wake up?”

Jesus: “Soon, and very, very soon… It’s just a noise.”

Me: “It’s what it represents! And what I don’t have!!”

Jesus: “Covenant. That’s what it represents. Whether they (His children) know it or not. I do. I remember covenant. It is a reminder to you that I REMEMBER COVENANT! I do not forget or break My Word.”

Me: “Am I making this up?”

Jesus: “Are you making up the noise? No… You have covenant with Me. I have covenant with you.”

Me: “Lord, I have been so hurt and betrayed that I don’t think I can trust any man ever again.”

Jesus: “But, you trust ME and I AM a man.”

Me: “There aren’t many men like You out there.”

Jesus: “True.” (sadly) “I told you, ChloeGrace, you are My heart’s treasure.”

Me: “And, You are mine.”

Jesus: (silence)

Me: “I mean it, Jesus. I can’t see You, but I know You. You won’t hurt me.”

Jesus: (silence)

Jesus: “No, I won’t. And, he (ex husband) won’t be allowed to hurt My special lady anymore either.”

“ChloeGrace, you are special!! You don’t think so, but you are. Rare. Wondrous… One of a kind. A gem, a sparkling jewel. Radiating My light, My love, My life.”

Me: “Who sees it?”

Jesus: “I do! All of Heaven does. They know about you up here, did you know that?”

Me: “NO!”

Jesus: “Well, they do. I tell them, and many people come here (heaven) who have known you and they talk about you. People here pray for you, too! They cheer you on, knowing you will make it!… I will reward you for tonight, ChloeGrace. You are faithful to write it down, in spite of your pain… to deal with it, and not run away. You have grown up!”

Me: “There was nowhere to run.”

Jesus: “I love you, ChloeGrace! You’re so honest! You’re right, nowhere to run but to ME! And, you did. Here I AM.”

Me: (smile)

Jesus: “And I will reward you. It will come as a shocker to you, but you will look back on this night with fondness.”

Me: “I WILL??” (I was fuming mad.)

Jesus: “Yes, you will. I do all things well, even this.”

During our conversation, the noise continued. It came from up above my head, where I sat on the bed. Twice I said something out loud to the people upstairs in a quiet anger like, “Oh! I could just shoot you!” and, then again, I said through gritted teeth, “Oh, for Pete’s sake, can’t you just get it OVER WITH!!!???”

I finally got up to go for a potty break. As I was coming back to my bed, I stopped dead in my tracks, in total shock. Stunned, I went over to the love seat in front of a window air conditioner, leaned over, put my ear against it and said in disbelief, “NO!!!!!!!!!”

Jesus: “YES!!!! HA! HA! HA! It was just the air conditioner!!”

Me: “Was that the reward?”

Jesus: “No! That was the shocker! But I DID use it to remind you that I do not forget covenant!” (little pause) “I do have My ways, don’t I?”

Me: “Yes!! … The last two hours were for this??”

Jesus: “Yes. You learned some valuable lessons through it and will not forget. But it was mostly to teach you that I remember covenant. Whenever you hear that word now, you’ll think of the air conditioner! HA HA !!”

Me: “Not funny, Jesus.” (I was still furious.)

Jesus: “Yes, it is. And so you will think, soon and very soon. He DOES have great stamina, doesn’t he? HA HA HA HA HA !!!! I do ALL things well, ChloeGrace, Stephen King novels and air conditioners.” (He had once told me a very cool thing about Stephen King.)

Me: “I believe You.”

Jesus: “FINALLY. So it was worth it, was it not?”

Me: “Yes.” (mumbled grudgingly)

Jesus: “You did look humorous, standing over in the corner with your hands in your ears because of an air conditioner! Which had been making that noise all along; I just had you ‘notice’ it all of a ‘sudden.’ … Your pain wasn’t funny, but you were. … Not mad at Me, are you?”

Me: “No.”

Jesus: “Good! We have progressed far today, My little student.”

Me: “You continually surprise me!”

Jesus: “I intend to keep on doing it, too. You’re fun to watch!”

Me: “Thanks.”

Jesus: “No, I mean it!”

Me: “Quit it!”

Jesus: “You will tell this story, ChloeGrace, I know you. And, I will move. Watch Me.”

Me: “Okay, I will. Is Holy Ghost done with me?” (Holy Ghost had been slowly working on healing my back, but that’s another story.)

Jesus: “Not quite. He’s letting you rest.”

Me: “Good.”

Jesus: “You’ve been ‘alone,’ but not bored?”

Me: “NO!”

Jesus: “I AM cute, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes, You are!!”

Jesus: “Sly, too, eh?”

Me: “Yes!”

Jesus: “As it should be. I AM God — you’re just ‘a human’.”

Next day:

Jesus: “I love you, ChloeGrace!”

Me: “I love You, Jesus.”

Jesus: “It’s going to be a good day today!”

Me: “Good!”

Jesus: “ChloeGrace, I AM so glad you finally took your fingers out of your ears last night and sat back down! I thought you’d be standing up all night! … HA HA HA !! It STILL makes Me chuckle.”

Me: “Very funny!!” (said testily)

Jesus: “My point exactly!”