Ugly in My Room

One night around midnight, when I was 28 years old and still young in the Lord, I was laying on my side in bed, awake, eyes closed, when all at once, I instantly KNEW that satan was standing behind me in the corner. I KNEW that, if the Lord opened my eyes, I would actually see him there. His rage, hatred, and lust to kill was so strong that it was as if all the light from the room had been sucked out and a thick darkness descended (even though it was midnight and already dark except for a lone street light). I began to take great, heaving gasps of air in order to breathe. I could feel his vicious hatred of me and knew he would kill me instantly if he could. His raging, hate-filled, merciless presence is hideous beyond words. I could feel his eyes boring into my back; his look literally BURNED like FIRE, and that spot ached for a week afterward. The very spot he stared at was the exact place where, several years later, two vertebrate exploded from a car accident.

I got up and began pacing in the house. It felt as if I needed to go to the hospital to get oxygen, but my very young children were asleep, and I was alone with them and had no car. I didn’t want to wake them, so I told the Lord, “Jesus, You said in Your word that if we drink any deadly thing, it will not harm us. I didn’t exactly ‘drink’ this, but it sure feels deadly. I’m just going to go back to bed and trust You that You will protect all of us.”

I laid back down again, satan still in the corner of my room. I turned away from him and whispered “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” over and over. After a minute or two, ugly left and that heavy darkness lifted. I could INSTANTLY breathe freely again, and the room seemed to brighten as if it was noon; as if the sun was out and shining in full force.

Years later, Jesus told me Himself that it WAS satan in my room that night, and that he hated me because he knew I had been “marked” by the Lord since birth. This was the first time I’d ever heard that word as it applied to me or any of His children. He told me that all of His children, who will be used in the end time, also have His mark. Jesus said, what satan had been thinking as he stared at me was, “Why, she’s so puny. And, she’s only a woman!”, all said with great contempt and disgust.

I told Jesus that what He was asking of me was too much for me, because I am “just a puny human.” He laughed and said, “I love all people in all shapes and sizes. Puny just happens to be one of My favorites.” ha ha .. He means, “small in our own eyes.”