I was distraught, nothing went the way I thought it would. I had received many directions and promises from the Lord, then carefully listened, and followed His instructions to the best of my ability. Yet, nothing ever seemed to pan out the way I believed and trusted it would. It grieved me deeply. I fell to my knees, it had to be me because His ways are perfect. I cried out, “Oh God, I know I’ve failed you in so many ways, but what grieves me most, is the many ways I have failed you that I don’t know about. Help me Lord. Please help me.” I was beside the bed, crying out for help. This is where I found myself over and over. For years He met me there. He always gave me direction for the day, and I fulfilled it to the best of my ability; only to watch it go to nothing repeatedly as time slipped away.
Suddenly a vision opened before me. A 6-year-old girl sat on the beach fully intent on the task before her. I knew the little girl was me and the vision represented my life. I watched as she was building a house in the sand, listening intently to instructions from heaven and replicating them to the best of her abilities. I was horrified, for she was oblivious to the fact that she was building on sand, the very thing the Bible warns us about. I was also horrified, because the little house was made from bent and broken sticks she had found in her surroundings. It couldn’t be called a shelter of any type, for the sun was beating down, and the wind and sand were blowing through it as though it did not exist. I wondered why no one had at least given the little girl some straight Lincoln Logs for her tiny structure. But the little girl was totally oblivious, only listening to the instructions and playing it out like a child would.
Suddenly a huge wave came and washed the little crooked, bent house structure away. Moments later, the sun was shining again, the sea was calm, and skies were blue. There was no sign of the little girl’s life or structure left. Peace reigned on the shoreline.
Then another horror filled my entire gaze. The sandy beach was flawless, there were no footprints in the sand. My life with Jesus had left no footprints on earth. There were no “one set of footprints” where He had carried me, there were no “two sets of footprints” where He had walked with me, there were no “lots of crazy footsteps” where we had danced together. Even though I knew all that had happened, there was only empty nothingness, where it appeared as though no human had ever stepped foot.
Reality sank deep within my soul. There would be nothing left on earth to show I had been here. When I arrived at heaven’s shore, there would be no gifts I could bring Him. I would never hear the words, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.” I would only hear the words, “Enter thou into the joy of the Lord.” For He had bought me, and He cannot deny Himself, therefore He would have to take me. He had helped me through this life and that was enough, for in my ignorance I had been a sand builder. I had given Him everything I had and there was nothing left to offer. A strange peace flooded my being, my life was over. I rose from my knees in total acceptance, feeling completely empty, yet calm.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse from heaven’s viewpoint. There, rising above the rocky shoreline, stood a massive, charcoal gray structure made not by human hands, like a mighty fortress and enormous lighthouse combined. It was formidable to behold, especially to evil, as it loomed high over the stormy sea, a magnificent beacon promising hope and safety, faithfully warning of danger, providing shelter from the storms of life. As the sea raged against it, the crashing waves were powerless to leave even the slightest evidence of their assault. It was not of this world, but created for this world to help guide weary sailors home.
I gazed in awe of what He had done with the sticks and sand I had given Him, like that little boy with his 5 loaves and two fish from which, when given to Jesus, “He” fed the multitudes. I began to understand it’s not about what we leave behind. It’s not about us at all. All He asks is our obedience. There is nothing too small or insignificant from our surroundings that He cannot use. For, what He accomplishes with our obedience and gifts is where the great miracle resides.
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